


Thin Air

by daiyu_amaya



Series: Star Wars: Clones and Their Jedi [1]
Category: Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Canonical Character Death, Confessions, Do the clones count as underage?, Implied/Referenced Character Death, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, M/M, Misunderstandings, Mpreg, Multi, Non-Consensual Bondage, Non-Consensual Touching, Non-Sexual Bondage, Non-Sexual Intimacy, Polyamourous Character(s), Rape/Non-con Elements, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Harm, Sensory Deprivation
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-25
Updated: 2018-04-29
Packaged: 2019-04-07 22:03:33
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 14,833
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14090637
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/daiyu_amaya/pseuds/daiyu_amaya
Summary: A burst of Adrenalin, the chill of the air on his bare chest, twin hands binding him as he struggled against the attack.He didn't know what was happening, only that he had only wanted to finish his paperwork in the peace of his rooms.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Kenobi Tag Bingo](https://archiveofourown.org/works/14009628) by [daiyu_amaya](https://archiveofourown.org/users/daiyu_amaya/pseuds/daiyu_amaya). 



> If you read Kenobi Tag Bingo, you will realize that this is a rewrite into a single story, rather than a mashup of whatever came to mind when I wrote that set of stories. There is new material in this that wasn't in that to bridge together the chapters so that it's a more cohesive story as a whole ^_^

I couldn't help but think about Rex, we had spent several hours in that cave together. While it agitated me that I failed once more to uphold the Jedi code, I couldn't help but smile fondly every time I thought of him...  
He was a good soldier, a good man. I might actually have feelings for him, small right now. A simple crush really at this point, but that went against the code and the circle just kept repeating itself, because he was not the first clone I thought fondly of and damn me for my weakness...

I perked up remembering what had happened when we finally found our way out of the cave, It had been rather a humorous event running almost literally into droids and then Anakin and Ahsoka showing up due to the commotion the ensuing fight had caused. Both of them turning the tide of the fight, since we had been at least five on one before the two of them showed up.  
I entered my room, the door closed with but a small hiss of displaced air. Something felt different, but what? Something abruptly slammed into me from the side, a rubber-like ball shoved into my mouth as cloth wrapped around my face to cover my eyes.

I struggled, but it was fruitless-whoever they were they worked seamlessly as a team. A team that seemed to read my bodies cues without an effort.  
I gasped at the utter silence from the force as an Inhibitor fastened around my neck, to be cut off nearly completely spoke of how expensive the collar was, I shuddered against the hot hands on me. Nearly insensate due to the effects of the inhibitor collar, hardly understanding what was happening to me until I felt cool sheets against my naked back.

I couldn't help the small cry that rose to my mouth at the sensation of one of my assailants wrestling my leggings off, leaving me exposed and even more to their mercy then before. I could feel the air currents fluctuate around me as the team moved about my bedroom, what were these people, most likely men, going to do to me? What was their cause?  
Had they been paid to attack me, and if that was the case what were they going to do to me? They had stripped me so they could...

I shut that thought down, one thing at a time Ben. Slow down, think! Shuddering I whimpered at the sudden dip of my bed and the heat both of my assailants exuded.  
One of them ran a warm hand in a soothing manner up and down my back, the other ran their fingers through my hair, what exactly were these people up to? Why would they attack me and bind me so as I couldn't move much without assistance, unable to see, speak, or feel my connection with the force?

* * *

A gasp left my throat as I bolted upright, cool bedsheets fluttering away from my body. I was still in my bed, I was still in my rooms...What exactly had happened last night? A jolt of fear coursed through my veins, what had they done to me while I slept off the adrenaline rush from their attack on my person? To subdue a person in that manner, had it been to frighten me?  
I had been frightened, I had been ambushed, they had stripped off my clothes, ruffled my dignity and taken my link to the force for an unknown reason.

There had to be some sort of goal, what could I possibly offer in that manner? Could they have put a tracking device inside of me, so that at some point later down the road whoever held the device that followed my tracker could send an attack? Had it been separatist and if so why me? Had I been the only one attacked, and why in such an open manner? Would they have not benefited in attacking me while I roamed the streets or in combat? They had chosen the perfect opportunity in attacking me however, I'd been tired, too many reports to do however.

I had planned on spending much of my sleep cycle completing reports as had become usual for my sleep cycle, I knew that some did not approve. They often chided me for not sleeping enough, not eating enough, not doing enough basically.  
Like I was some wayward child refusing to eat my greens, I knew I didn't sleep enough, but we were at war. How could I sleep knowing people were in pain, dying every moment I spent here at the temple and not on the battlefield?

As much as I disliked the halls of healing I knew I would have to go, just to make sure I didn't actually have a tracker or a delayed poison in my veins. I'm sure the healers would love to have me just so they could boss me about once more as if I couldn't take care of myself.

If the men came back I would have to be prepared, though why they attacked me in such a bizarre manner still confounded me, what had been the point of attacking me? Why strip me and then lay me in my own bed, yet not touch me sexually?  
I paused, I had slept. Nearly a full night cycle at that, I did feel more refreshed then I would have otherwise, but that could hardly have bee their goal, after all, who would want me to have a full nights rest?

I was only one Jedi, how could I be important enough for an attack, one that left me sleeping like a child? It would only help me in the long run, it would only make me stronger, so what exactly was the point?  
Force above this was only driving me in circles. I wouldn't get any answers until I'd found out who they were, and even then they might not have the answers I needed if they had been paid to attack me in such a manner.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! This story is basically me filling out my prompts for Kenobi Tag Bingo-I had a request to get my shit together and honestly I wondered about that. They originally weren't meant to link up, I also wrote all six chapters of Kenobi tag Bingo in two hours give or take, I kept walking away to get stuff XD So it was mostly a speed dump of words.
> 
> Linking all six chapters into a coherent story might be a bit much for me to take on but due to my stubborn ways and my inability to be reasonable I took it upon myself to rebuild the world or at least some of it, we all know the world of star wars to different degrees and I'm honestly not changing much there XD I really feel like the pairing wouldn't actually change all that much in the run of history and I think that shows in my writing. 
> 
> Rex and Cody have a duty to do, they know this, Obi-wan knows this, Obi has his own duties to attend to as well, if your looking for an epic love story this isn't it :D I only recently 'met' cody and rex as I started the Clone wars cartoon last month and still haven't completed the series or moved on to rebels. They are going to seem a bit oh hell who am I kidding, a lot OC. I'm working on that though as I get to learn more about the two clones and their men


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, I think this is the hardest story I've ever attempted, this is also probably the hardest I've ever worked on something too lol

I was prepared for an attack this time, even though I was tired. Not having slept in days, It only afforded me the ability to pull an arm away from them for the briefest of moments. Before they once more blinded and gagged me, the force inhibitor humming against my skin, cuffs digging into my wrists.

They stripped me down, in nothing but their bindings they shoved me onto my bed, making sure my head lay on my pillow and they bracketed me, both burning like stars with the heat of their bodies. I was glad to know that the last time they hadn't implanted any tracking device or to poison me with something slow acting.

That didn't mean that they wouldn't, each time they assailed me I would have to make certain that they hadn't done either of those things to me. Not to mention to pray that they didn't consider a sexual sort of scheme. Who knew what they allowed themselves when I slept, for all I knew they were... Touching me, I shuddered at the thought.

I had spent some time before the last battle I'd been in making sure there were no irregularities with the security of the temple, there had been nothing, so these people were allowed to roam the temple, but they weren't Jedi, that much I could tell before they clamped the inhibitor around my neck this time.

They also had managed to make sure the footage of the hall in which my room was in looped in a manner that they could get into my rooms with no one being any wiser to who they were, who had that kind of skill? Who could break into my rooms even though I was the only one allowed there?

This was so very confusing, they weren't hurting me, in the long run, they were only helping me to be stronger so that I could stay up longer if anything. So what was their purpose? Why do this to me, without abusing me?

There had to be some sort of reason behind all of this certainty? If this was an intervention of some sort they needn't have gone to such lengths to make me sleep. While I was stubborn, not that I'd really admit such a thing aloud and most certainly not in front of Anakin, I could admit to myself that if anyone tried to talk me into sleeping I would more then likely brush them off or be distracted by something, anything really and not sleep more then I had been.

I felt a jolt of sudden panic in my gut as a hand landed on my back, but it only rubbed against my spine in a soothing manner again like the last time they had caught me and forced me to sleep.  
Slender fingers running through my hair, while this felt nice I could hardly allow them to continue such actions against me. I had to find out who these people were so that I could convince them to stop this madness and leave me be.

I nearly freaked out as I felt the softest brush of lips against my uncovered shoulder, they hadn't done that last time or at least not that I was aware enough to have noticed. It only happened once before I began to drift into sleep...

* * *

Anakin was giving me strange looks, but that wasn't the first time he'd made faces at me. Like when he was first my padawan, he'd made plenty of faces then, but that was neither here nor there.

"You looked more stressed out than normal, are you going to be okay with this plan?"

Ah, Anakin must have read my stress from not figuring out who the two men were that were putting me to bed in the most horribly unthought plan I'd ever had to be part of.  
No, Anakin though it was their plan of attack that had me stressing out. I caught Cody and Rex exchange looks and they seemed to have agreed on something before Cody spoke up;

"Sir, if I may...You do look more stressed than normal."

Great, now he had Cody on about stress, there was simply a certain amount of stress to be had on the battlefield, they all knew that. Hell,  
I'd helped people with the stresses of battle after all.

"I'm fine."

Thankfully battle took precedence over his apparent stress levels and they made their plans, not that Anakin often stuck to plans if he saw an opening that he couldn't resist. Which honestly was nearly every battle they had ever been in.

How could I say anything about the attacks on me? It was actually quite embarrassing after all, two men were attacking me and forcing me to sleep. Nude, but they hadn't tried anything other than lips on my shoulder, I assumed it was meant as a soothing gesture. Something one might bestow on a loved one-It seemed like something Satine might have done if I'd allowed her that close if I had chosen her over the order.

The men knew me that much was obvious, but how well did they really know me if they were forcing the issue of my sleeping habits? Anyone who knew me knew I wouldn't take kindly to being forced in such a manner simply to get some sleep.  
Even if I did say something, my assailants could stop at any point, it had been nearly six months since their first attack. It had gotten to the point I just didn't bother going to the halls of healing, they were only forcing me to sleep.

Their reasons behind that still quite unknown to me along with who they were, I would find out I'm sure at some point. Even if they stopped, there had to be a way to figure it all out.  
I noticed Cody then Rex glance at me as if assessing me, I had gotten some sleep at least, so I didn't look as tired as normal, more stressed apparently but that honestly shouldn't have surprised either of them.

If they didn't like the fact that I was stressed out then they had better get their heads checked because last I checked we were at war and stress was the least of anyone's worries.


	3. Chapter 3

I shifted as something brought me back to the land of the living, a low drone of voices, they were talking to each other, whispers that had brought me to half awake, the heat was comfortable and soothing. There was something about their voices that niggled at my sleepy brain, I knew them.

That much I could tell, these were people who I'd met at some point...Who were they? Why were they holding me as if I was a loved one? As if I mattered?  
I wouldn't matter to these men, I shouldn't matter to anyone, Anakin had grown into his own, he had Ahsoka now...The only reason I saw him was that we made a good team.

One that was helping win this war. Once that was over, why would anyone need me? I shifted and the voices stopped. Maybe I would remember the sound of their hushed voices and then catch them that way. Unlikely, but it would be quite the reveal of who these men were.

One of them had an arm around my waist, it moved and began to sift through my hair, calming me in an attempt to get me to go back to sleep as the other rubbed circles on my back...

* * *

 

I paused at my door, they could be in my rooms right now, just on the other side of the wall...I reached out with the force and found nothing. No, they weren't waiting for me just on the other side of the wall. I let out a breath that I hadn't even realized that I'd been holding in.

Just attempting to sleep in my rooms was...Difficult these days, I felt jittery and uneasy in my bed, thoughts of the twin heat on either side of me, cocooning me from the outside world. I had grown used to it and every time they didn't attack me and force me to sleep between them had made it nearly impossible to not jump at shadows.

"Sir?"

I nearly jumped out of my skin at the sound, I looked up and spotted Rex without his helmet on walking towards me. It wasn't unusual to see Rex in the temple, it was, however, unusual to catch him on this floor. If it had truly been important couldn't he have used his comm to get ahold of me? At least I wouldn't have to try and sleep just yet.

"Yes, Rex? Was there something I could do for you?"

He got a rather strange look in his eyes as if something was happening, behind me? Someone grabbed me around the middle and hauled me into my own rooms, I let out a shout and broke the hold around my waist, turning into a defensive position before I realized what was happening.

Cody. I fell out of my defensive position, this had to be about my stress levels being so high, they could have confronted me in a less startling manner at the least! Then they were moving in concert much like the way they would on the battlefield. Only Cody had a Force inhibitor and was firmly attaching it around my neck.

"What?" I was stunned as Rex pulled off my dark brown robes and the outer tunic from me, my heart beat wildly as the truth came crashing down on me. This time they weren't Binding me sight, voice, and force.  
This had been them the whole time, they had accosted him, stripped him of his free will and for what? So that they would get the peace of mind that he was sleeping!  
"Why? Why would you do this to me? I thought I could trust you! I thought we friends even!"

Both glanced at each other and Rex shook his head. Cody frowned;  
"Because we knew no matter how much someone hounds you to sleep you refuse to do so. We only meant for you to get some sleep, not to stress you out as badly as we obviously have been."

This was too much, they had meant good obviously, but to make me sleep the way they had-I'd been stressed that something terrible was going to happen to me. I knew I was stubborn but why couldn't they have left it well alone?  
I would have eventually had time to get the sleep I needed and it wasn't like anyone other then the nitpicky healers saw anything wrong with my sleeping habits!

What would they do now that I knew it was them? How would they attack me now, would they, in fact, attack me still?  
"We agreed to not blind you, and we knew once you realized it was us you wouldn't shout so we ditched that too. But, we are going to make you go to bed one way or another if we have to."

I couldn't help but flinch away from the bold statement Rex barked out at me, how could he consider this to be behavior fitting of a clone? I knew they had their own customs and beliefs, like the tales of the Sisters of Kamino, a tale I didn't quite understand and didn't know when or how it started. I kind of felt like that was most of their customs, even though I fought alongside them, ate with them bled with them. They were rather squirrely about their culture, I was still an outsider to them.

"I believe it would be better if you gave me time to sort this all out, this is far too...You have no idea what you've been putting me through."  
The stress was the least of my worries. They had hurt me in a manner that I didn't realize that I could be hurt in. Had my attachment to these two really have grown that wildly out of control in such a short amount of time? To know that two men that I had grown close with would have chosen to make me powerless against them?

Two simple words tumbled from Cody's mouth, his eyes told of his regretfulness. "Tell us?" I struggled to find the words to convey what all of this had done to me. Why should I share with them when they couldn't be bothered to have shared with me sooner that it had been them accosting me?

"I was frightened, I seriously thought you were going to harm me, I thought I could die. The moment you two put me on my bed and stripped me completely I thought that maybe I was wrong, I wasn't going to die, I was going to be raped."  
I shuddered at the memory of terror scrabbling up my throat at the mere thought that they were going to do something to me, that I wouldn't be able to stop them from taking me, from doing all sorts of sexual things to me as I lay bound on my bed waiting for them to hurt me.

They had the decency to look ill as if the thought I could have been terrified in that manner hadn't even crossed their minds. Did that mean that they found it normal to sleep nude? Was this one of those cultural things? I knew that sometimes they would huddle or pile together, for warmth-was it also for comfort? Was that what they had been attempting to do for me?

"No matter the reason for your actions, I can not trust you anymore, how could I ever trust you again after what you've done? I should tell someone what you've done!" I wouldn't, I cared too much about them to sentence them to death that way, and it would be death for them. Attacking a Jedi was against everything they were taught, they would be decommissioned as they put it and then dissected to see what went wrong.

"Will you?" I paused at the sound of Rex's question, he had sounded utterly forlorn, so void of his usual brand of emotion, I deflated. I couldn't let that loom over their heads. Two wrongs did not make a right... “Facts do not cease to exist because they are ignored.”  
They both frowned at the quote, a man by the name of Aldous Huxley had said it at some point and it was true...

"I won't tell anyone, but I can't ignore that you broke my trust. That both of you were willing to do this to me." Cody shifted almost nervously, but he wasn't going to be in trouble-he would have to face the fact that I couldn't trust him but he would live.

"We didn't mean to hurt you or frighten you, we just wanted you to get some sleep." They glanced at each other and made some sort of agreement. Cody slowly, as if not to frighten me moved to take the inhibitor off. I nearly gasped at the raw and powerful feeling of sorrow that both of them were projecting. Watching them on legs that had gone numb leave before allowing myself to collapse at the utter weight of what I'd caught of their emotions.

I shivered, there was no way I was going to be able to sleep tonight, not after having felt all of that. They had hurt me but what hurt more was that I knew I actually managed to hurt them back somehow. Shakely I made my way to my hidden bottle of Corellian Reserve, I didn't drink often but I needed to be numb for a little bit.

Hours must have passed after that, or at least it felt that way. I eyed my tumbler of Corellian Reserve. Hondo had gifted me with it and when I had turned it down, Hondo somehow managed to smuggle it into my berth on the ship I'd been using for the mission.

I had saved the man's life several times during that mission alone. But, that was the first time Hondo really tried to give me anything. It was a nice distraction from what I was currently dealing with but I would have to work out my feelings on what had transpired.

Cody, Rex, they had been the ones to attack me, force me to do things I wouldn't normally. But, why would they react the way they had? How could they have felt sorrow about losing my trust, how could they care about whether or not I get to sleep?

They hadn't hurt me physically and now that I knew it was them I knew they would have never hurt me physically, but to have my trust in them stripped so completely like that was worrying. How would I react on the battlefield if it was either of them guarding my back?

Probably the same as always, because I did trust them with my life, just not...Just not in any other way than to protect me from droids.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I brought in some bastardized Bioshock mythology into this as Clone lore, I will expand on that later lol and some stuff about clones that I liked from various writers and their stories XD


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy April Fools and Easter XD

I might dislike the halls of healing but even I knew better than to not visit when something was clearly wrong with me...I had been sick for days, that much I knew. Vomiting nearly every other week was not normal, not to mention the fatigue, it had gotten worse then it had ever been.  
  
Healer Tellsi frowned, a look of confusion and then maybe understanding passed her face; "I know this is an odd question, but you reported not that long ago being nearly eaten by a plant-based creature, are you certain it was attempting to eat you?"

"It captured me, dragged me into its mouth and what I assumed was its version of stomach acid. So yes, fairly certain it was attempting to eat me."

She shook her head; "It's the only thing I could think of that would explain your condition." Exactly what was my condition? She was making me feel unsettled; "What's wrong with me?" A tilt of her head and a determined gleam in her eye didn't help how nervous I was getting at the lack of an answer.

"Nothing is wrong with you unless you consider being pregnant to be an illness." What! How could I be pregnant? I was a male, males of my species didn't get pregnant just the woman...That plant! "Wait are you saying I'm carrying a plant creature?" Tellsi let out a tinkering laugh, once she got ahold of herself she smiled lightly at me.

"Well, I doubt that would have lasted as long as this has, different species have difficulties procreating with each other after all. No, it more likely swapped DNA of someone else that came into contact with it and transferred it to you, with some of its own spores. Which should hopefully be completely safe for you."

I nodded; "Is there any way to tell who's DNA it transferred if that is the case?" She nodded; "I could take a sample it would take only a moment. Do you want me to?" I nodded again, I should at least find out who or what the child was related to after all.

"Master Kenobi?" I glanced up at Healer Tellsi, she was looking at a screen but the words seemed to take all the humor out of her; "Yes?" She looked uncomfortable; "It turns out that a clone's genetic's make up the rest of the child, didn't you say two were helping you escape the plant? At any rate, it managed to swap enough of their genetics to you..."

So Either Cody or Rex. That wasn't good, considering they had apparent troubles with telling what was appropriate when it came to me if their overreaction to my bad sleeping habits were any indication. "Thank you." She frowned but nodded back and I left the healing halls.

"Are you alright Master?" Ahsoka. I knew one of them would be hovering after my fainting spell. "I'm fine Ahsoka, just a little tired. I was told to get some sleep so I won't pass out again." She looked like she doubted that and really how could I hide the fact that I had a child inside of me?

Not for long, others would start feeling the child in the force at some point. I should at some point tell the council, they might not take it well but as long as I stuck to the facts, they would take it as just another weird thing happening to me, nothing to worry about...

I felt a bubble of despair wrap around my heart, this child was mine, and Cody or Rex's or both knowing my luck. I wouldn't be able to tell them, how could I? What kind of pain would it cause them if I told them what had happened? Honestly, it would more than likely be obvious after the child was born, but it wasn't like I could keep the child. "I think food and sleep was a good suggestion master, you've been rather emotional lately. It's been affecting Cody and Rex."

My head snapped to the side to look at Ahsoka, but she was looking elsewhere; "Cody I understand but Rex?" Ahsoka blinked, her big expressive eyes looking at me with confusion; "Didn't you know those two were in a relationship? If your mood effects Cody it'll get to Rex too."

They were...It wasn't unheard of naturally. But, to know that about them? It disturbed me a bit, "I ah, no I didn't know that Ahsoka, I'm surprised that you caught onto that." and that I hadn't caught onto it, I really should have I suppose.

Ahsoka grinned; "I caught them cuddling. They didn't tell me at first that they were together, till I caught them kissing weeks later. Though, honestly, I understood, we almost lost Rex-Cody was scared. That was the only reason I caught them the second time. I think it's cute though, they really care about each other."

That didn't make it easier for me, I most certainly was not telling either one of them about the child then. They could do without that kind of stress on their relationship and I couldn't help but wish them a long relationship...

I made my way to my rooms, intent on a nice cup of tea, after the day I've had I say I deserved it. The door swished open and I entered only to freeze. Cody. What was Cody doing in my rooms? "I didn't give you permission to enter my room." Cody looked upset, but he should have thought about it before just entering my rooms as if he had a right to be in it.

"I'm sorry, it won't happen again sir." He hesitated and looked worried; "I heard you fainted, I just didn't...I didn't know where to go." They had been friends, or at least on my end, whatever Cody had felt, it wasn't the kind of friendship I'd thought it was if he felt he couldn't talk to me.

"I'm fine." While it was true, it wasn't quite the whole truth, I was not well... Mentally stable, I was pregnant with a child that belonged to either this man before me or to Rex whom apparently was with Cody, both of which had terrorized me every time I had chosen to get my work done before trying to sleep. "I'm sorry to have bothered you then." And he saw himself out.

They were never going to be the same, and now this... Both Cody and Rex had been more professional with me as of late, to the point Anakin had asked if Cody and I had argued. I'd chosen not to answer that, but they had become very distant. To find Cody in my rooms worrying about me, was out of character these days. Since I'd told them how I'd felt about their bullying him into sleep.

But, I was hurting Cody with my distance...Two wrongs didn't make a right, but how did I look the man in the face after all I was put through that could have simply been talked through? How did I now tell the man I had a child that could be his? Maybe I shouldn't tell him at all, but he had a right to know he had a child or his partner had one-that one of them was the genetic father of the child that rest inside of me. What did I do?


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a completely new chapter, I remembered Kix this morning and decided he needed a chapter all his own. A little more background on the stories "impregnation" and "Self-Harm" from Kenobi Tag bingo if you will :)

I gasped awake, my eyes scanning the room. Kix frowned at me and laid a hand on my forehead, "There was a blast General, it shouldn't have knocked you out, but..." I laid back, closing my eyes. "But?" There was a shift and it sounded like Kix was sitting down, I opened my eyes to glance at him and suddenly I felt very frightened, Kix was looking very depressed.

"Why would you go into battle? You...Did you know?" Did I know what exactly? "Kix, your frightening me-What happened?" Kix rubbed his face and the look he sent me was frightening, he looked as if he'd never looked at me before.

"Did you know you were pregnant?" Oh, oh force, I hadn't thought, was the child alright? "I...I found out a little before this mission." That was nearly a month ago, Kix sighed; "Then you should have known better to come out into a battle...The others couldn't understand why the blast knocked you out, it shouldn't have. But, they didn't know you were pregnant."

Oh god. "Is...Is the child?" Kix shook his head; "If I had known, there wouldn't have been much for me to do-But I didn't know. I didn't know and the child...It didn't make it, I'm sorry." I sunk deeper into the cot. I had killed my child with my stupid carelessness. "I..Kix, I'm sorry...You shouldn't have had to go through that."

Kix looked at me like I'd lost my mind, and maybe I had. I had knowingly walked into battle, I had caused my own child it's life because I had stupidly not thought about what could happen if I had, but at the same time, I didn't want anyone to know...

"Who?" I blinked and looked up at Kix; "It, its a long story." Kix nodded; "We've got time. We're on route back to Coruscant." I nodded and thought about where to start. "When I was attacked by that plant creature, It wasn't trying to eat me." Kix snorted; "So the father is a plant creature?" I laughed; "No, no. It swapped some DNA from others to me along with some of its spores." Kix froze; "Cody and Rex jumped that creature and dragged you out...One of them was the father?"

I hadn't meant for Kix to know. "Do they know?" I shook my head; "How could I tell either of them that? They're together after all." Kix sighed; "You really don't know much about us, do you? It's actually common for us to have...What do others call it? Uh, polyamory if I remember correctly."

Oh, well that explained a few things, like Wolffe and how close he seemed to several members of his wolf pack. "That's normal okay, but that has nothing to do with me telling either one of them about the child." Kix looked confused; "You're not with them? We all kind of assumed that you were in a relationship with them."

Wait. What? Why would I be, why would anyone think that? "I'm a Jedi, being in a relationship is against our code." Or at least if it becomes something that makes us do things against the code that led us down the darker path.  
I supposed some Jedi could be in relationships and still function as a Jedi, I figured at one point that my own master was in a relationship with another Jedi after all.

Kix shrugged; "General Skywalker has Amidala, and Plo has Wolffe and his wolf pack. Not that odd that you'd be in a relationship." Oh, force above Plo and Wolffe? That was not something I really wanted to hear about let alone think about.

"I haven't ever...I thought it was pretty clear to everyone how I felt about Satine." Kix nodded; "Yeah that was clear, but we could all tell that while you love her, your no longer in love with her." Something about that statement rang true...

I would have turned from the Jedi Order because of my love for her, but I hadn't and the love I had once felt, it was still there. A distant thing that only hurt me when I saw her, I'm sure she felt the same way about me these days as well.

"Did you tell anyone else about why I was knocked out?" I knew Kix wouldn't, Medic's oath and all of that. Kix frowned and bit his lower lip. Eyes painfully sad. "I, I didn't understand-How could I? I've never dealt with someone pregnant before..." Oh no, he had told someone? "Who knows Kix?" He let out a deep breath; "General Skywalker."

Anakin. Oh force, this was bad. This was very bad, I hadn't told him anything about what I'd learned. Once he realized I knew, had known for just over a month. Would he trust me anymore? "How did he take that?" Kix shook his head, in a bewildered way. "He knew what to do, knew that there wasn't much we could have done-as if he had learned things about childbirth."

There could be only one explanation for that one. Padmé was with child and Anakin had learned as much as he could in preparation for that. As much as that worried me, it was already too late. Padmé wouldn't forsake her child and she wouldn't tell anyone about it either.

That could put her in a lot of danger, the danger she shouldn't have to take alone. Maybe I should talk to her? I wasn't sure if she'd listen to me, or if she'd even care to talk to me, it had been awhile since we'd last spoken.

"Thank you Kix, I know this must have been terrible for you." Kix looked close to tears actually. "Sir, you...I can't even imagine how you feel. But, I if you ever need to talk. I'm here for you." I smiled at him, it was nice to know that Kix cared so deeply for everyone around him, to talk of something so uncomfortable for him. That was a great deal kinder then he needed to be to someone like me. "I'll keep that in mind thank you Kix." 


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: Self-harm and self-loathing ahead.

Tears streamed down my face running into my beard, the pain causing me to quiver. How could I be so selfish? My nails dug into my skin, how could I let this happen?   
I should have told someone about the child, I should have told the council about it-should have tried to stay out of combat long enough to give birth to it and then returned.

Not just dive headlong into the war, and now it was too late to be sorry. It was too late to even...It was all just too damned late! I had hurt Kix with the truth of what I had done, I had hurt Anikin with my lies, I trembled as I pulled the knife from my boot, feeling the blade on my skin I hesitated.

I shouldn't do this...But, it hurt. It all hurt. Kix had told me that I could talk to him, but that was unfair to Kix. It wasn't Kix's fault that I hadn't died with my child like I should have.  
I'd lost Cody, Rex, and the child, I couldn't keep living like this. Knowing that I had failed in so many ways, Anakin would be alright, he had Ahsoka, they would keep each other afloat.

After all, I was really only around for battle these days, they had a friendship, a partnership that should and could last for a very long time. Who was I to get in the way of something like that? Who was I to live when so many others, so many good people died-I was only wasting space, Qui-Gon had given me a job and I'd completed it, wasn't it time for me to join the force too?

I slid the blade against my skin, feeling the burning sensation. It felt like bliss, it felt like nothing. Blood dripped steadily down my arm, staining my clothes a pinkish color that slowly darkened and spread out. It would be alright, I would join the force as I should have years ago and everyone would be free of the pain I brought them...

"Shit, here help me get him in a seated position." The voice sounded far away and close at the same time... "Obi-Wan?" Cody. I'd recognize that voice anywhere. Why of all times had the man come to me? I knew I was going to die tonight, just like I should have, but here was Cody...

He shouldn't suffer watching me die, he should just have heard about it, and breathed a sigh of relief at being rid of me. A sob slithered out of my mouth as tears gathered in my hair.   
"Obi-Wan? Please don't die on us." I felt something smooth land across the heated flesh I'd sliced through and shivered at the cooling effect of Bacta before passing out again.

"What could have caused this? Do you think...Maybe we did this to him?" Oh, I hadn't thought that maybe they would blame themselves for something I'd done... Maybe I should have written something so no one would blame themselves for my death, that would have been the unselfish thing to do right? "No."  
  
I felt movement around me and someone placed a glass at my lips, the water causing the burning pain in my throat to dissipate a little. Drinking I wondered why I was still in my rooms rather than the healing halls...Where they would have pitied me and then told the council what I'd tried to do and why I'd tried to do it.

Opening my eyes I noticed how tired both of them looked, had they kept a vigil over me? Both were on either side of me in my bed, when had I been moved to my bed? "Obi-wan?" I tilted my head towards Cody. "You weren't the reason for tonight." They shouldn't worry about me...They should have left me to die, why had they come to me tonight of all nights? Warm fingers slid through my hair, Rex. Cody ran his hand up and down my back, both of them easing me into sleep.

I woke to the smell of food and caf. I was pretty sure I'd gotten rid of everything, I had accumulated my belongings so that no one would have to bother with them much and cleared whatever foodstuff other than the box of tea I'd been unwilling to part with. I idly wondered if they had brewed me a cup of tea while they were at it. I groaned as I pushed myself out of bed and found both of them in the kitchen, muttering lowly to each other.

Now that it had been pointed out to me in no uncertain terms, I could see that they cared deeply for one another. Rex was comforting Cody, it made my heart ache. They spoke Mando'a perfectly, it only brought back memories of the time I'd spent with Satine...Brought back her death. Another person I'd failed as I had failed so many before her and my child.

"Sir?" Rex wasn't taking any chances, he was going to play good little soldier. That should have made me happy, to know that he'd gotten over whatever it was that had made him do things that were for lack of better words wrong.  
It didn't, it only made me sad. Only made me wish that things could be very different right now, made me wish that we could go back before all of this had happened. "Thank you...I realize that you must have questions, but it's rather personal and I...I don't think I can share it with you."   
Cody took in a sharp breath. "Obi-Wan, you tried to kill yourself! We know what would have happened if we took you to the healing halls, the least you could do is at least be honest. Did you want to die or?" Oh. No that wasn't how this was going to work. It couldn't work out that way, Cody shouldn't know how much I had wanted to die last night. It would only hurt him.

"I don't see how that information is pertinent to you commander." Both of them gave me looks of confusion, maybe even pain, but I couldn't do this, I couldn't keep hurting them just by being near them, everything had changed when they started to attack me when they revealed themselves to be the ones attacking me. The plant that had gifted me with a womb had done so much more harm and they didn't need to see me fall apart.

If I hadn't had a child growing inside of me, this wouldn't have happened. I seriously doubt I would have actually attempted to kill myself if I hadn't been pushed so far by the loss of my child.


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING DISTURBING THEMES AHEAD INCLUDING BUT NOT LIMITED TO: Non-consensual touching, Non-Consensual bondage, and threats of slavery/sexual slavery
> 
> If you do not want to read any of the above do not read past the break thank you.

I rested wearily against the railing, the negotiations had gone smoother than most of my negotiations went. Night air warm and permeated with the scent of blooming things washed over me. It was nice here, it was a beautiful world after all.

"Sir, we're ready to head out." Cody. Always, Cody, I hoped he had managed to at least forgive me for what had happened in my rooms. I didn't deserve to be forgiven I just wished for it, so that he could move on.

I had realized that in my stupidity I hadn't thought of what people I could save as a Jedi. I hadn't considered that while I didn't deserve to live, others did. People I could save, who might not be saved if I wasn't around.

"Thank you, commander." I stood and wobbled as a wave of lightheadedness washed over me. Cody took a step forward a hand reaching out to me before he thought better of such an action. His hesitation hurt, I knew why of course. I'd been pushing him away, praying that he would be able to move on from the wreck I'd become.

"Fine, just ready for bed is all." Cody nodded; "So long as you actually sleep." I snorted; "I know better these days than to ignore sleep." Because it would bring them to me again and I couldn't deal with that. Mostly because it would hurt, knowing I had failed both of them, failed Anakin, Ahsoka, the Jedi in general, and myself all in one fell swoop.

A look ghosted over Cody's face that I couldn't describe, what exactly was he thinking right now? "Sir, permission to speak freely?" I nodded, whatever was on his mind...Who was I to deny it? "I, I hope that one day we could be friends again...I mean, if we ever were. I just. I miss you." I reeled at the words so softly spoken.

Before I could reply to that before I could really even think about it a rather harried looking clone came out to us. "Sirs, there has been a communication, we're being asked to investigate a possible separatist attack here." Cody stiffened his eyes narrowing at the news. That wasn't the kind of news we needed right now and I was tired, well no rest for the weary it seemed.  


* * *

Separatist had definitely found their way onto this planet and had taken control of several buildings in the capital. A terrible sign since I didn't have many clones on my side, still this had been a terrible idea. I shouldn't have tried to come here by myself, I hadn't been a match for so many droids or the drugs they had hit me with.

Being separated from Cody had been a mistake as well, I always knew I could count on him if he was at my back during a fight and we had managed to be split up, now here I was chained and being guarded as we waited for Force knew what. I longed to lower my arms, but seeing as they were chained above me there was nothing I could do about the ache I was starting to feel more intensely than before.

They had stripped me down to just my leggings, making certain I had no weapons with no doubt to linger in their minds. The air wasn't cold at the very least, this world really didn't have any cold region, at least not for me. I really could have done better if I hadn't been so out of my mind, honestly, what had I been thinking?

I supposed I hadn't really been thinking at all, Cody had made noises of irritation, of non-consent for my plans and yet I had brushed him off and now look at what had happened? I'd gotten myself captured and there was very little chance that anyone would save me.

"Your attack failed Jedi." I twitched, surprise causing my chest to freeze for a split second. I looked up and spotted a man, he gave me a mock bow and a sly grin spread across his face; "I didn't realize any of you Jedi would actually be quite so handsome."  
That didn't bode well for me now, did it? "I suppose most people just assume that a Jedi looks plain and boring." The little shrug I gave with the combination of my words seemed to irritate the man.

The separatist snarled and grabbed my face, sour breath making me wince; "You haven't the faintest clue just how much trouble you are in, I will break you. You will become my pet, my plaything to do what I want."  
I couldn't show how much that actually frightened me, did this man intend on raping me? Or just making me his slave in another manner? I didn't want whatever it was he was saying he'd do to me.

The man slid around me, circling me several times before he stopped at my back. His breath heavy on my neck as he leaned closer, my heartbeat rocketed upwards as he stood there. Softly fingers traced my spine, a shiver I couldn't hold back sliding down my body. "By the time I'm done with you, you'll love it."

And my leggings were pulled down to my thighs, exposing me to cool air. I gritted my teeth even as a whine of denial left my lips. The thing masquerading as a man chuckled, "Quite beautiful, I can't wait to hear your cries." I needed to get out of this situation somehow. "You don't want to do this, if my commander finds me like this, he'll kill whoever hurt me." It was true, Cody would murder this man, simply because he cared so much for me rather than the fact I was his general.

Cool fingers draped over my lower back, a thumb caressing my tail-bone. "Is your Commander fucking you? Is that why he'd kill someone because he doesn't want anyone else to fuck you?" My face burned at the words, Cody...Did he want to be close to me like that? He and Rex did care about me greatly and I knew that Cody would come for me, but there was no way Cody could possibly want a failure like me...Not like that. 


	8. Chapter 8

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Obi-Wan has been captured, will he be rescued before lasting damage can be done to him?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: SEMI-EXPLICIT NON-CON/RAPE SCENE WITHIN CHAPTER, IF THIS THEME BOTHERS YOU PLEASE DO NOT READ THIS CHAPTER-
> 
> However, I would like to point out there will be mentions of this chapter in the final chapter.

My body, as if acting on its own arched away from the touch. my skin felt overly hot and sensitized, I wrapped my fingers tighter around the bindings that held me in place, a sharp gasp tore its way out of my throat. I could feel the man's arousal strain against my hip, the hand on my back clenched, fingers biting into my flesh.

I shivered as he moved around me, sliding down to his knees in front of me, whatever he planned to do to me caused him to have a twisted smile on his face. A hand shot out and grabbed my groin painfully tight at the base, I let out an involuntary noise at the pain. Was he going to chop it off, he didn't have any blades, maybe he'd rip it off and I'd bled to death.

A few puffs of hot breath before a mouth engulfed me, I shut my eyes quickly not wanting to see what my body was already telling me, even if I could still hear the lewd sounds that went with the act. Warmth building unheeding of my feelings on the matter. I couldn't focus on anything else other than the mouth on my penis.

The separatist pulled away, leaving me feeling overly sensitive, the cool air helping to calm my traitorous body. "I would take you home and make you my pet, put you on your knees to service me." He made a hand jester as if brushing the thought away.

"The others, however, want me to kill you, but I'll take my time to enjoy you first." This man was sick in the head, no wonder he was on the side of the separatist. Something cold trickled down my ass, the monster ran his fingers up and down my wet cleft several times before sliding it in, twisting his finger deep inside me.

Slowly more digits were pushed in, when a third finger was inside he started to rub against something sensitive with the tips of his fingers. I was sobbing, I couldn't hold it back anymore, not with how this felt. The burning pain and pleasure mixture, the way it made me feel so lost and alone. Knowing I was worthless and thus wouldn't be saved.

I shivered as a hot breath cascaded across my neck, lips brushing the sensitive edge of my ear; "Such a good pet, I want to hear you as you come apart on my fingers." I didn't want this, I wouldn't become this monsters pet. "Never." He chuckled darkly; "Ah, ah, ah, never say never my pretty little pet."

The door banged open and startled my tormentor, his fingers involuntarily curling inside of me-I whimpered at the feeling, "Gar besom!" A blaster bolt zinged over my shoulder and the separatist fell away from me. The world was growing faint as I heard footsteps hurrying to me, my rescue. I'd have to thank whoever saved me when I woke up.

Later, because there would, in fact, be a later for me.

* * *

  
"Ner kar'taylir darasuum..." Finding our Jetii this way was literally one of the last things that we would have ever wanted to find him, He passed out as we reached him and Cody promptly freaked out while untying our Jetii.

The Shabuir who would dare touch Obi-Wan was sniveling on the ground my blaster bolt had hardly hit him simply because I hadn't wanted to hit Obi-Wan. I was going to kill him though, he couldn't be left alive after what he'd done. The doors slammed open again and Anakin rushed in, thankfully Obi-Wan had his pants back up so Anakin wouldn't know what they had caught the bastard doing to their Jetii.

He turned back to the fool and shot him twice in the chest, a dying gurgle leaving the mouth of the beast. Anakin's jaw had dropped like he couldn't believe what I'd just done. But, I was trained to kill. I was a perfect little killer in the eyes of my creators, Kaminoans wanted perfect machines of flesh and that was what they had made.

"I'm glad you found Obi-Wan but was it necessary to kill his captor? We could have gotten information from him." Anakin didn't usually think like that; "You had something in mind?" Anakin nodded; "Some of the prisoners said that there were bombs planted in this building." Well damn it, that complicated things didn't it.

"I'm sorry sir." I really wasn't but I wasn't about to tell Anakin why that was because he would rage, as he wasn't supposed to I was going to just keep that bit of information to myself. Cody shared a look with me, one that screamed to keep my mouth shut if I knew what was good for me. He didn't need to but he'd always been more emotional than me.

Sisters above knew he was my guide in the realm of emotions. Right now he needed me instead. I sighed; "Alright, we need to clear the building just in case the bombs were rigged to go with his life."

If that was the case we were dead already, but since we hadn't felt or heard anything as of yet that was not very likely, no what was likely was that whoever knew how to set the bombs off would do so when they were backed into a corner.  
It's what I would do after all. Cody lifted Obi-Wan and I fetched his saber that had been left on a table not far from the body. Why hadn't Obi-Wan reached for it with the force? Or just stopped the- It didn't matter now, what was done was done and we would just have to help Obi-Wan through this. Assuming he would let us help.

He was ignoring us for the most part, after all, he'd gone all business-like on us, no longer the man we'd fallen for. But a cold distant figure, he was the same for everyone else naturally. But, it hurt to know we had driven him to that point.

It had never been my intention to cause him to distrust us, Cody loved Obi-Wan, sometimes I believed more than he loved me, which I couldn't help but admit was perhaps a good thing. I couldn't give Cody the love he deserved and having Obi-Wan join us would have balanced that out, Obi-Wan had such a capacity for love, he'd had too many attachments as a Jetii for any of the council to be comfortable, Wolffe had shared that little tidbit not that long ago.

Apparently, Obi-Wan fell in love very easily but was not easy to get him to admit that much. Did he love us the way we loved him and if he did could he ever stand us touching him? After that monster touched him, would he ever allow anyone to touch him again?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like this is just getting bigger to annoy me lol I had to add another chapter so as to rewrite the final chapter of Kenobi tag Bingo, which might end up being two chapters at this rate lol


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter that is not a rewrite from KTB lol  
> My muses decided there needed to be more Plo Koon in this story XD

This wasn't going to be easy for me, how could it? Sharing my deepest thoughts wasn't something I really did these days, too much on my mind that could get me into trouble with the council. "You look as if your walking into your death." I sighed lightly; "No, just...Nervous I suppose." Plo Koon sat next to me, I knew that he had something with Wolffe, maybe I could ask for advice?

"When A clone falls in love, how likely are they to give up that love?" Plo frowned; "Which one told you?" What exactly was he asking me? "That they love me or that you and Wolffe are apparently together?" Plo snorted indelicately; "Well, that answers that for me." I snorted; "Actually Ahsoka told me about you, as for loving me neither of them have outright told me they love me. But, I'm starting to get the picture."

Plo Koon stared out into the garden that we were facing; "I would say they fall hard and fast too. Wolffe had that problem when Boost fell for Sinker, Boost got very depressed at the time because he thought he knew that Sinker thought he was as he put it a 'waste of space'."

Did Cody and Rex think that he was turning away from them because he didn't care about them? Or did they know he kept turning from them because of his own conflicted heart? "What ended up happening?" Plo's eyes crinkled like he was frowning;

"It took Sinker stopping Boost from committing suicide for Boost to realize what was really happening. That Sinker didn't want to take advantage of him, because of their rank differences, once he knew that. Well, I don't think he ever stopped loving Sinker but he no longer attempts to avoid Sinker when he can and no longer attempts to take his own life."

That was a lot to take in, to still love someone who couldn't love you back had to be hard, I understood that much. I caused so much pain for Satine, she could have found someone rather than waiting forever for me, I wouldn't have been right for her anyway. "And Wolffe?" Plo sighed; "I take my duty as a Jedi very seriously, Wolffe, however, managed to convince me that I could still be every bit mysterious Jetii and care about him at the same time."

That couldn't be easy, we were taught to have no attachments. I fell too easy and it stayed with me too long, Loving people had been easy for me, easy enough that I had considered Qui-Gon to be my father figure, Anakin my brother, any of his children would be nephews and nieces to me.

The confused, sometimes muddled feelings I had for Cody and Rex were just too much for me. I couldn't surrender the ways of the Jedi for something that might not last, at least they had each other that would have to be good enough for them.

"I will admit what Wolffe and I have together is different from what you, Cody, and Rex would have if you chose to have them. I share Wolffe with his wolf pack." Kix had mentioned that many of his Vod were Polyamorous. But, if Wolffe shared his wolf pack, then why had Sinker chosen to ignore Boost? "They aren't sexual partners I suppose, so as to keep pretenses that they follow the regulations set to them. While Cody, Rex, and you would not have that problem."

That wasn't. I couldn't do that with them, I couldn't let anyone touch me like that ever again. "I wouldn't be in a relationship with them, to begin with, let alone a sexual one." Plo made a startled noise; "Obi-Wan, I'm sorry, I believed you we negotiating a relationship with them. I see that I was wrong."

Had it been obvious that they were 'courting' me? I mean there was so much I had to learn about their culture, I'd thought and many other Jedi probably too thought that they were Mandalorians in their rights and rituals. But, maybe they were something different. They believed in the sisters after all-almost reverently at that. So, that pointed to some cultural differences right off the bat.

"How many know that they care for me in a romantic sense?" Plo Koon chuckled; "It would be easier I believe if I told you how many didn't know. It's like Anakin and Padme after all. Everyone knows and everyone won't tell those two they know. Does Anakin even know that you know about him and his wife?" I shook my head; "If he does he dare not bring it up in case I don't, or someone overhearing."

I chuckled; "I hadn't realized how obvious they were being." Plo snorted; "How obvious the three of you were. That's why I believed you to be with them or at least they were attempting to woo you. You care about them as much as they care about you."

I did care about them, but I wasn't about to forget what they had done, feelings made things messy. We would have to talk and then learn how to make things less chaotic when it came to feelings. Plo made a noise I knew to mean interest, I glanced at him and noticed he was looking away from me, I followed to where his attention had gone to, to find Wolffe strolling towards us, of course, Plo's attention had been diverted. Wolffe no doubt had business to talk with him about.

"I figured I'd find both of you together. Glad I was right." Oh? And why was that? Plo nodded; "We were conversing on the topic." Ah, so that was-Wait, had Plo wanted to talk to me about my relationship or lack of one this whole time? Wolffe sat in front of us, an easy grin on his face.  
"I figured you might need a little push, Plo agreed with me to some extent." Oh. Well, that wasn't exactly something I was expecting. "And why would you want to do that?" Wolffe's eye lit up in a way I'd rarely seen, like a child seeing something amazing for the first time.

"I was hoping you would spend some time with others in order to see how right Cody and Rex were for you. Jetii are notorious for thinking that getting attached to any of us is bad for you. We're as driven by duty as you are-the mission comes first, we all know that. It's what makes us such good matches for our Jetii."

I had never thought of it that way because it was against our code. It was something we hid, something that shouldn't be. "It is easy to forget that while we adhere to our code, we can also choose our own path." Plo Koon looked lighter as if telling me those words were setting him free as much as helping me.

"What did you two have in mind?" Plo Koon shared a look with Wolffe and Wolffe grinned; "See I told you he'd be curious." Plo snorted; "Spend a night with us Obi-Wan. A walk in a different life if you will." What were they asking me exactly? Because spending a night with someone was also a term for sexual interactions and I didn't know if I could ever let someone touch me in that manner, not after what happened...

"You can always say no, no matter what we do tonight-you can always say no and we'll stop. Simple as that, we'll come straight back to the temple." Would we leave? Where would we be going then? That wasn't what I was expecting at all.

"The nightlife here is very diverse, but there is a place we have in mind to take you to tonight." They wanted me to go out with them to "I wouldn't mind going with both of you." Wolffe's smile brightened; "Good, I have a few things to attend to so I'll meet you both up later." And he was leaving, Plo laughed; "He's as pleased as I've ever seen him, he needed this too I believe."

* * *

The clones had found 79's fairly early on, the place was fond of them as much as they were of it. It helped them blow off steam, sometimes I would hear of one or another Jedi coming here just to mingle, to learn more about the men they led and to drink a bit. It wasn't against the code to drink, but it was frown on of course if we drank to excess.

"Relax, that's what this is about after all," Wolffe smirked, I wanted to roll my eyes but mastered the impulse, I wasn't Anakin after all. I wasn't exactly sure I remembered how to relax and this had never been a scene I fit into. I didn't come here, and the few times I had been here had been for business.   
"I hardly leave the temple or the battlefield these days, relaxing is a bit harder then you give it credit." Even with a few drinks in my system and as secluded a booth as possible in a nightclub.

"You really never did explain why you two wanted to bring me here." Wolffe had a smirk playing on his face; "Honestly I don't think we really planned it out that much either. Friends or more, either way, tonight will certainly be interesting don't you think?" Friends...Or more?

Did, was part of this to help me with intimacy? I had been shying away from even the most innocent of touches, simply because I didn't want to remember what happened. Plo returned to the table his drink in hand, it was a rather pleasant blue color. "I see Wolffe managed to stump you."

I snorted; "I pointed out that neither of you explained why you wanted to take me out, he rather indelicately pointed out he wouldn't mind getting into my pants." Plo and Wolffe both laughed brightly, and I really needed to cut myself off if I was willing to blurt out things like that.

"We would be willing to do that, but this is mostly about getting you out and about, simply to give you a break from everything that is happening in your life." I was pretty sure my jaw had dropped, they would be willing to sleep with me? Had I hit my head and was currently in a coma or something? Because this was beyond anything I expected Plo to ever say to me.

"I uh, I'm not sure what to say to that." Wolffe snorted; "I think we broke him, never thought I'd see a day when the 'negotiator' was at a loss for words!" Plo chuckled and made a hand motion I didn't recognize and Wolffe was sliding closer to me; "Just tell me, no and we won't get any further." Before he tilted my face, lips nearly touching, I didn't say anything and our lips met, his lips were warm and soft. It was a simple press of skin but it sent a spark through me.

Maybe I did need something like this, something to sooth all the hurts I'd been ignoring for too long. I let out a breath and opened my mouth a little and Wolffe took that as he was meant to, an invitation to explore more. He tasted sweet, like whatever he'd been drinking. Plo made an interested sound deep in his chest and I wouldn't have minded but we couldn't kiss because oxygen was poison to him, so he couldn't take his Anti-ox off. Though I was sure we could find a way around that if we really tried to.

Wolffe slid a hand up my leg and let it rest on my upper thigh, nearly too close for comfort but it lit a fire in my lower abdomen, oh this would be interesting indeed. Letting off steam this way apparently wasn't going to be a problem for me.

"The Hell do you think you're doing Vod?" We both stiffened at the sound of an angry voice, I looked up through my lashes and winced. Of course, Rex, if it had to be one of them it would be Rex-Cody didn't come here often after all. Rex didn't either but every once in a while he did with...With Anakin who looked more amused than anything else.

"Oh nothing really, just kissing your General is all." Blunt and with a wicked grin, this is the side that not many people got to see, he was good at what he did and damned if he didn't deserve to tease Rex about it. Rex made his choices and while I was still confused with what was going on with us, I knew I cared about him and Cody. Poking a little fun at him couldn't hurt much before we had a serious conversation about our relationship.

Rex let his body relax, "I see." and he stalked away, Anakin called after him but he disappeared in the crowd. "I should go talk to him, too much has been left unsaid between us." Plo and Wolffe both nodded, they understood where my heart was after all. I slid out of the booth Anakin looked put out. "I just wanted to get him out because he was moping, I didn't realize you would be here-You're never here."

I patted him on the shoulder; "It's alright Anakin." I knew where Rex would be heading seeing as I checked before I left where Cody would be. Rex would need Cody right now of that I was sure.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There may be some Plo Koon/Obi-Wan/Wolffe fic in my future lol because my muses slapped me in the face with this chapter and I was blown away by how awesome it would be to read something like that XD
> 
> Sadly I think of a ton of stories that never make it on this site or anywhere for that matter lol


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gosh, darn it T_T I had to add on again XD That figures! But Chapter Eleven is the final chapter for reals this time XD No more additions!
> 
> Btw, Thank you once again Amari001 for the comment as it inspired me! I always like getting comments so that I know that people are actually interested in the things I write, I feel like I'm not that great a fiction writer and getting any sort of comment tends to make me write more and aim for a better story!

I couldn't help the rage boiling just under my skin, I had thought...Obviously, I'd thought wrong, Kenobi didn't care about us. How could he anyway? He'd basically told us no at any rate and finding him with Wolffe and Plo Koon was certainly proof that he didn't need us.

Cody flung himself out of his bunk and nearly crashed into me, hastily I caught him before he could fall over; "Where's the fire?" Cody snorted; "Obi-Wan just messaged me, he said he wanted to talk." No doubt to cut me off from telling Cody what happened before he could do damage control.

"I see." Cody frowned; "Rex, what's wrong?" I could tell him what I saw, after all, Obi-Wan damned, Cody deserved to know what happened before Obi-Wan could poison him. "I have to talk to you first." Cody nodded and led me into his bunk. Good thing that commanders got their own rooms, even if they were tiny.

"Anakin wanted you to go with him to 79's, but here you are so something happened there?" Nodding I let out a breath, hurt crawling up my throat. "I found Kenobi there..." Cody flinched, I never called Obi-wan by his last name these days unless we were somewhere where it might not be safe to point out we were on a first name basis with the man.

"He's never there though?" That's what I thought too, but he'd been there, Wolffe all over him and he'd let Wolffe. I was glad at least that he wasn't haunted by what that separatist scum had done to him, but why turn to Wolffe and Plo Koon? I didn't think they talked much let alone at all other than work so why?

"He was with Plo Koon and Wolffe." Cody frowned, no doubt his thoughts heading in pretty much the same place as mine had just a moment ago. "But, why are you so mad about that? Plo and he do talk to each other, not often since the war started but they have confided in each other before." Wait, what? I thought they didn't talk? Were they friends then?

"It wasn't so much Plo Koon that made me angry Cody, it was more the fact that Wolffe had his tongue down Kenobi's throat." Cody's jaw dropped; "He was kissing Wolffe?" I nodded and Cody turned away; "After you saw that what did you do?"

I froze, was I in trouble? I was pretty sure I'd just gotten into trouble with Cody. "I. I lost my cool and yelled at Wolffe. Then I left when Wolffe made it clear that he was given permission to do so."

Cody sighed; "Obi-Wan didn't say anything at the time did he? Maybe he wants to talk to us about what happened." He only asked for Cody though so it was damage control surely? "He didn't message me." Cody snorted and pulled out his comm and showed me the message he got.

_Cody,_   
_I know this is short notice, but I need to talk to you and Rex-Please at your earliest convenience meet me in my rooms._   
_Obi-Wan_

Oh, so it was both of us. "I thought...I guess I thought he wanted to cover his own ass before I told you what I saw." Cody gave me a bemused look; "I could understand that it must have been quite the shock to see Obi-Wan in a situation like that."

Of course, it was, but why was Cody acting so strange? Didn't he love Obi-Wan, so why didn't it seem to phase him that I'd found Obi-Wan in a situation like that?

"What do you know that I don't?" Cody grinned; "Wolffe came to talk to me before he met up with Plo and Obi-Wan, he asked me if it was alright if he and Plo took Obi-Wan out tonight-I didn't think much of it at the time, but he was asking permission for whatever he and Plo had planned for Obi-wan."

So Cody had consented, but why not tell me that? "And why am I just hearing about that now?" Cody snorted; "You were obviously down, I didn't want you to tell Anakin no. Though I should have asked Wolffe where he was going to take Obi-wan so that I could get Anakin to avoid it."

So I had been left out to spare my feelings only for it to backfire and make me lose my cool. "I became extremely hurt Cody, I thought...I thought Obi-Wan had moved away from us, that he was choosing others over us."

Cody's jaw dropped and his hands reached out for me, taking me into his arms. "Oh Rex, he wouldn't turn from us like that. He might be confused by his feelings but he's got feelings for us."

So then he wanted to talk to both of us because it was a misunderstanding, and he wanted to right things before we turned away from him? "We should go talk to him, by now he's got to be pacing a hole in his floor." Would serve him right given the shock he gave me.

But Cody was right, we should go talk to him. "I'm tired of all this back and forth from him...If he doesn't make up his mind, I don't think I can keep taking the yo-yo effect."

Cody sighed; "Trust me, this will probably be the conversation we've been wanting to have with him since everything got all tangled up."

I nodded and pecked Cody on the mouth; "I'm glad at least that one of us doesn't have such a fragile heart." Cody chuckled; "It's only fragile when you let people in Rex-I feel if anyone else saw this side of you they would think you were an imposter."

I didn't doubt that in the slightest; "Alright, let's go see what Obi-Wan wanted before we drive him mad. Even if I kind of feel like he deserved it." Cody slapped my neck in amused admonishment and led the way to Obi-Wan's rooms.


	11. Final

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The Final chapter in a rather hard story, I'm glad to be done lol I hope you enjoy this chapter as much as I hated writing it XD Thanks to overtime at work it took me waayyy longer to write out and I don't think I did it justice!

I let out a breath as Wolffe slid deeper into the booth, a frown on his face; "I thought he knew, I told Cody about this." Cody knew that Wolffe had a plan for me?

I supposed that made sense, everyone knew Cody and Rex cared about me and most assumed as Plo had that I was with them in some form...Anakin looked very confused; "I thought you were with Cody and Rex Obi-Wan so what is this about?"

I didn't want to answer that, how could I answer that after all? "We were just helping him relax, to get him away from the whole situation so that when he came back to it he might be able to look at it with a new light."

It did help if Plo hadn't admitted to his relationship with Wolffe, if I hadn't noticed how close they were then I might not have begun to have doubts about staying away from Cody and Rex and now I'd gone and messed it all up.

Anakin seemed to think over what Wolffe had said and glanced at Plo Koon with a curious light in his eyes. "You and Wolffe are together then?" Plo tilted his head in a nod; "We aren't bound by law the way you and Amidala are but my species wouldn't think very highly of what I do."

Anakin spluttered completely caught off-guard by Plo's statement, which honestly I don't know why Anakin thought he was fooling anyone! My own sorted history with love, I could see why he'd try to hide it, but he did a poor job...About nearly as badly as I did.

"How!" I snorted at Anakin's expression, pure shock crossing his face and giving it an odd twist. "It was kind of obvious Anakin, you weren't fooling anyone." He slumped against the table, "So, whats going on with you, Rex, and Cody?" I felt bone tired without having done anything.

"You might want to sit down for this." Anakin frowned; "I'm pretty sure you need to go so that you, Cody, and Rex can have a conversation. Besides, there's a lot of things I want to ask you that will just take too long."

Well if he was willing to wait then that was fine; "I promise will talk, I might not want to answer all your questions though." Anakin nodded; "I know and I respect that." What happened to make Anakin so much more mature than before? I supposed that was a matter for a different day. "Thank you, Anakin."

* * *

 

Waiting for them to show up to my rooms was perhaps the most nerve-wracking thing I had done in my whole life. I was about to go against the Jedi order with this choice if they found out and decided to make me a lesson to others who might find themselves attached...If I lost the order I don't know what I would do. I had left before, but heartbreak had driven me back to the safety of the order.

I had lost so many loved ones, was this really the right choice? But to deny that I had feelings for them would only, in the long run, hurt them, and yet it was their choice to be with me as much as my choice to be with them.

If it came down to it I would ask the council to bar me from the order after the war was done, that way I could continue to do what I did best. Helping those who needed help, and afterward, I suppose I would go on just helping those who needed it in a new way.

But that was a future that might not be, and so this path was just one of many that could be. Once I committed to this path, more paths would open for me. Even if it was a rather reckless path, if I committed to attachment I could fall.

A knock on my door caused me to take a deep breath. This was the time to show no hesitation. I had to tell them the truth about my feelings and to also tell them about my own selfish behavior. Cody and Rex looked like they were going to explode with how much emotion they were currently feeling and I didn't blame them, I was sure that I looked fairly similar.

We settled and I let out another breath. "I know that a lot has happened over the last year and it's not going to be easy for me to talk about some things, so please be patient with me." They both nodded and linked hands, this was it. This was the truth I needed to get out and now was the time.

"Both of you found me at one of my lowest points when I attempted to take my own life and I never told you why I would do such a thing..." Cody's brows dipped in confusion, this wasn't a great start to a conversation but it was the more important part of it.

"You asked me if I had wanted to die, the answer is yes and no. At the time I attempted to take my life, yes, I wanted to die, I wanted to stop hindering those I cared about, to stop hurting for the ones I failed." The one I failed the most, who would never be. I would never see them, never hear their laughter or teach them about the force...

"But, you haven't failed anyone Obi-Wan." I wanted to laugh, Cody wouldn't say that once I told him the truth. "You remember when that plant creature attacked me?" Both of them nodded, now both of them very confused, I felt bad for this but I had to get this out. I had to tell them how I lost the child that had been part of one of them.

"It wasn't trying to eat me, it was attempting to impregnate me. It succeeded in taking the genetic material of one of you and passing it to me along with some of its spores." Their jaws dropped, shock sending waves through the force. I allowed them time to settle, it was still hard for me to even wrap my head around it too.

"So, you're with child...One of us is the father. Obi-Wan why wouldn't you tell us sooner? God that was nearly four months ago!" Cody exclaimed and Rex frowned, perhaps he realized I hadn't gotten any bigger as women did when full of a child.  
"I didn't want to tell anyone about the child, I couldn't...I wouldn't have been able to keep it." Rex reared back; "Obi-Wan, what did you do?" Cody looked between us before fear and sadness coated him; "It's gone?" I nodded; "I didn't tell anyone, the only person to know at first was a Jedi Healer. A little before we were sent on a mission, so I simply didn't tell anyone."

I closed my eyes, a headache forming. "I went into battle and a blast knocked me out." They nodded, both of them remembered that I was sure. "Kix was really concerned and freaked out. Kind of freaked us out too." Rex said, eyes softening once he realized I hadn't killed it with intent. "Kix found out I was pregnant when I woke he told me it was dead and that without Anakin I might have gone with it."

I couldn't do this, I couldn't look at them anymore. How could we move beyond what I had done? The poor innocent child died because I didn't want anyone to know, if it had gone to term I would have had to tell the council at least and they would have taken the child from me. Who knew how much it would have looked like me and its father, who knew if it would be force sensitive?

"That's why you've been so emotional. Because you were pregnant...That at least explains why you were acting so back and forth with us. What happens now Obi-Wan?" Rex asked gently and I didn't deserve it, I had killed a child and now. Now I had two men who wanted to know if I would love them-I would only get them killed as I had the child. I opened my eyes to see worry and sadness on both of their faces.

"I suppose that depends on you both...I did something so vile, I don't know why you can even look at me right now." Cody let out a sigh; "Obi-Wan, you were frightened and hormonal, how could we blame you for what happened? No one really thought you were acting too different if anything just more stressed out."

At least I had managed that. Still, it was horrible and it made me a horrible person to get a child killed. What had I turned into? What kind of monster endangered a child the way I had and then shrugs it off like nothing ever happened?

"That explains why you attempted to take your life, but...Obi-Wan we would have been there for you, we love you and only want to be part of your life if you wanted us to be. No matter when you told us about the child." I reeled, loved me? That was... Did they love me? I felt my face warm, and my eyes sting.

"How could you love me? After I killed our child? After I stupidly allowed myself to be captured? After how coldly I acted to both of you? I don't deserve your love, I deserve your hatred!" Fear bubbled in me, how could they love me when I was so obviously wrong in so many ways?

"I would only manage to get both of you killed! I am the worst person you could have ever fallen in love with-Look at what happened to Satine! To Siri and Cerasi! Everyone I have loved has either left me knowing I wouldn't leave the order again or died knowing I was the reason they died!"

Cody shivered; "Obi-Wan, all of the people in your life knew that loving you was worth the danger, you weren't the reason they died and you shouldn't blame yourself for it." Satine died because Maul wanted to hurt me, and he did because I was weak because I didn't want him to hurt her and if it hadn't been for me she wouldn't have been targeted that way.

"I don't want either of you to die because of me...I don't want either of you to hate me for doing that to you, how could I possibly love you without hurting you in the end?" They both flinched; "Obi-Wan we were made for war, I don't really see myself or Rex living through it. If anything we're going to hurt you."

My lungs stopped working and my eyes watered, how could Cody say that? Knowing that one would die at any time and yet they loved each other and me all the same? I would lose them as I had lost others, maybe this was the Forces will for me. To walk this path, loving and losing, but still walking forward because I was needed.

"Then I should stop beating around the bush and spend time with both of you before I lose you shouldn't I?" As much as I doubted this path...If they loved me truly and I couldn't stop loving them, then I should love them with everything I had and stop hiding from them.

"You mean it? You...You love us back?" I sighed; "As much as it scares me yes, I love both of you too." Rex stood and scooped me up in a hug; "We're sorry too, Obi-Wan, we never meant to hurt you." Cody's warmth covered my back before Rex handed me to Cody and my arms wrapped around his neck; "We'll do our hardest to talk through things instead of just acting alright? Just promise us you'll talk when you need too as well okay?" I nodded, I could do that, if I could have this conversation then I could talk about anything with them.

It might take me time to talk about things but I would try. "As long as you want me." Their arms tightened around me; "That will never be a problem, we'll love you for the rest of our lives." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I might end up making this a series, just to give Anakin that talk Obi-Wan promised and a few ideas roaming my head.


End file.
